Thanksgiving 2012

I was glad to see Melissa Harris Perry talk about what is a  Modern Family today 11/24/12 on her program.  The family definitely doesn't look like Cleavers any more. My parents are remarkable because they grew-up on the Cleaver era and raised us in a two parent white upper middle class family (except in Utah a growing more and more unique concept in 2012). My children are growing-up completely putting the notion of Cleaver on its head.

Siamak enjoys Thanksgiving and I have enjoyed making Thanksgiving for many many years now. 

Thanksgiving 2011 was rough, sweet and small - as we had just returned from Albuquerque following Malky's funeral. The year before Thanksgiving 2010, Pooriejoon had just had knee surgery and we were in Foster City. Also, wonderful to be with the Fatemi's and quite the spin on Thanksgiving to celebrate with Persians the most American of Holidays.  Abos made the most incredible Turkeys filled with dried apricots, cranberries, zereshk, raisins etc. it was quite memorable...I used some cranberries this year when I made the Turkey hoping to mimic a little of his recipe.  The guest list this year at our Thanksgiving is what really seemed to break mold.

Sahar has been in SLC for a year now, and I hope she feels more stable and at ease here.  We sure enjoy having her nearby.  Sahar is quite amazing and is a master at not only walking but running in two, three four worlds.  Sayeh was here for Thanksgiving sort of.  Sayeh is still living in L.A. and keeps us at more than an arms length away.  So adding Sayeh to Thanksgiving while makes it whole for Siamak brings an arms length dynamic to the mix.  This year Lavina wanted to spend Thanksgiving  with her girls so it was important to me to make her and Sayeh welcome in our home.  It's always been important to me to NEVER be in the place of Lavina for the girls, I have ALWAYS seen myself as Baba + 1.  

I was happy to have Lavina and Sabastian join us for a day of being Thankful.  The ONLY thing that made me feel bad about the whole situation was that Sahar, the girl who has always balanced everything thrown her way with ease, maturity and grace was caught in the middle of the dynamic and feeling full on classic Thanksgiving family stress.  :-)  No outright fighting just some giant elephants also joining us.  

Despite the elephants, I really enjoyed everyone's company! I was proud of and enjoyed making all everything (except dessert).  Setareh made the cranberries and they were fantastic!!! Sabastian made pumpkin bars, also fabulous and Pete made 7 and 7's  and new drink for me...never pictured myself enjoying  whiskey but mmmm good new drink.   

I have a lot to be Thankful for...and hope to always be thankful for all that i have!

I post this article below for Sahar...it is true LOL!
Thankfully our thankful day was peaceful with no overt fighting :-)

How To Pick a Fight With Your Relatives This Thanksgiving

By John Cook

Posted Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2012, at 5:11 PM ET

THIS IS WHEN YOU POUNCE.

Shutterstock/Pressmaster

If your family is anything like mine, then Thanksgiving is sort of like a brief military deployment after months and months of training. You've prepared all year in Internet comment sections and by yelling at Fox News on the television screen, and now you find yourself face-to-face, in close quarters, with actual Republicans, right across the table. They're not going anywhere, and neither are you. Despite what you’ve heard about avoiding holiday conflict, now is your time to fight.

So here are some good rules to follow to make sure your Thanksgiving descends into a screaming match that mortifies your loved ones and makes you feel superior to all your troglodyte cousins.

1) Select Your Target. Obviously, you need to find someone who disagrees with you politically. But not just anyone: Close relatives present perilous risks. Your parents or siblings can drag all sorts of emotional baggage into the fight, muddying the waters and making it more about how your veganism ruined that family vacation to Yellowstone in 1999 than whether "job-killer" is a racist code word. It's safest to go with relatives you only see once or twice a year. Your angry drunk uncle, if he's game. Or that weird cousin who joined the Civil Air Patrol when you were in college.

2) Getting Started. First off, you should wait until everyone's seated at the table before you try to get things started. That way you have a captive audience that has to watch the fireworks, and everyone is settled in for a nice long time. Getting the topic of conversation to politics shouldn't be too hard. Stick to short, sarcastic, tendentious remarks to get things going. "I'm thankful for all that free stuff Obama gave me." Once you've engaged the enemy, it won't take much effort to pivot to whatever particular subject you feel most comfortable with. A good Thanksgiving skirmish will scamper from topic to topic wildly and without warning, but it's best to begin by digging into one particularly contentious subject to get tempers flared. Which brings us to …

3) What Should We Fight About? Israel. You should fight about Israel. Particularly if you are Jewish or are married to a Jew or are the child of an Evangelical Christian. If you can find a way to work your way backward to the Clinton impeachment, that's always a gold mine of long-repressed rage and conflict. Otherwise you are stuck with the election—amateur hour.

4) How Much Should I Drink? As much as you can.

5) How Do I Know If I'm Winning? Think of it as one of those blue vs. red military exercises. When your adversary gets frustrated and inadvertently sputters out a transparently racist epithet (I once got my uncle to shout "because they're swinging on trees and eating bananas!" during a Thanksgiving fight about the Sandinistas), that's like capturing their flag.

6) When Should I Toss My Silverware Onto My Plate and Stalk Dramatically Away From the Table? This is an important moment. Pulling the trigger too soon can make you seem petty and overly sensitive (you're really going to run away over a Joe Biden joke recycled from Dennis Miller?), but disengaging too late risks letting things get out of hand. Plus, it's wise to build in some time between the end of the fight and the end-of-dinner goodbyes to let everyone cool off. And it's crucial that you walk away before your adversary does—if he leaves first, everyone else at the table is left looking at you and seething. I like to time things so that I walk away in a huff right before coffee is served.

But remember: Keep it light. You're providing entertainment/mortification for the rest of the table, so try to hit a tone of bemused contempt rather than righteous outrage. And be thankful that you have a retrograde family to make you feel better about yourself.